I should have stayed home from that trip in the summer,
Cause i knew if i went then forever I'd love her.
So here i am now and its many years after,
and i love her as much as those days filled with laughter.
Though she's alive as well could be dead
somehow she still haunts all the rooms in my head.
Whenever another tries to get in too close
I'm frightened away by this lost lovers ghost.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Saturday, September 5, 2009
(none)
I think the trick to writing is to write like nobody will ever read what you wrote, but to not be specific enough to make anyone angry, just in case they do. And of course there is grammar.
I think I'm hateful of the female person, that is to say I'm hateful of the pretty ones. And by the pretty ones I don't mean the girls that make the room light up with their presence, or the girls that have strong character and just are who they are. I mean the ones that have the shape and agenda of a barracuda, who put on makeup and stiletto's like a point man gearing up for a tactical assault, who bat their eyes like a machine gun with laser sights. You know the one who all the guys look at and drool over, but none of them date, or (god forbid) marry. The ones who tragically, and I hate to say it, ARE beautiful, but by some cosmic retardation think they had something to do with it. Please do not misunderstand, I have nothing against dressing up and looking your best. The deciphering factor is the attitude. Do you treat other people, who are not as physically fit, as though being uglier than you is some sort of character flaw? And do you expect favors and extra benefits for "working so hard" to look like you do? If you answered yes to these questions, than you, my blood-toothed huntress, have a problem worse than my punctuation.
But We.. (and I say "we" in the vain sense that somebody out there in this god-forsaken corner of cyberspace has had the misfortune of clicking the wrong link and read this far)...We are not talking about "your" problem we are talking about mine. and My problem is that I hate you. Yes I said it, I hate you. I hate you like a vegetarian hates poachers and big juicy steaks. But the first step to recovery is admitting that there is a problem. I hope that blogging becomes therapeutic, and with any luck my spelling and punctuation will improve.
I think I'm hateful of the female person, that is to say I'm hateful of the pretty ones. And by the pretty ones I don't mean the girls that make the room light up with their presence, or the girls that have strong character and just are who they are. I mean the ones that have the shape and agenda of a barracuda, who put on makeup and stiletto's like a point man gearing up for a tactical assault, who bat their eyes like a machine gun with laser sights. You know the one who all the guys look at and drool over, but none of them date, or (god forbid) marry. The ones who tragically, and I hate to say it, ARE beautiful, but by some cosmic retardation think they had something to do with it. Please do not misunderstand, I have nothing against dressing up and looking your best. The deciphering factor is the attitude. Do you treat other people, who are not as physically fit, as though being uglier than you is some sort of character flaw? And do you expect favors and extra benefits for "working so hard" to look like you do? If you answered yes to these questions, than you, my blood-toothed huntress, have a problem worse than my punctuation.
But We.. (and I say "we" in the vain sense that somebody out there in this god-forsaken corner of cyberspace has had the misfortune of clicking the wrong link and read this far)...We are not talking about "your" problem we are talking about mine. and My problem is that I hate you. Yes I said it, I hate you. I hate you like a vegetarian hates poachers and big juicy steaks. But the first step to recovery is admitting that there is a problem. I hope that blogging becomes therapeutic, and with any luck my spelling and punctuation will improve.
Friday, January 9, 2009
If I Could Cry A River
If I could cry a river,
I would float away forever.
Down the river of Tragic Daughter,
because your eyes are the headwaters.
So cry a river down to the sea
up into the clouds and back down to me.
Every drop of rain reminds,
that through a thousand years,
every drop of ocean has once been someone's tears.
Whether we drink or weather we cry the rain falls on us all.
as creation cries of the hearts first break that caused all men to fall.
So when the sky falls frozen tears or fills the plants with dew,
remember you're not the only one because, dear child, God weeps with you.
I would float away forever.
Down the river of Tragic Daughter,
because your eyes are the headwaters.
So cry a river down to the sea
up into the clouds and back down to me.
Every drop of rain reminds,
that through a thousand years,
every drop of ocean has once been someone's tears.
Whether we drink or weather we cry the rain falls on us all.
as creation cries of the hearts first break that caused all men to fall.
So when the sky falls frozen tears or fills the plants with dew,
remember you're not the only one because, dear child, God weeps with you.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Amazing Song my favorite for the week.
"Let Go"
Drink up baby doll
Are you in or are you out?
Leave your things behind
'Cause it's all going off without you
Excuse me too busy you're writing your tragedy
These mess-ups
You bubble-wrap
When you've no idea what you're like
[Chorus]
So, let go,let go
Jump in
Oh well, what you waiting for?
It's all right
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown
So, let go, l-let go
Just get in
Oh, it's so amazing here
It's all right
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown
It gains the more it gives
And then it rises with the fall
So hand me that remote
Can't you see that all that stuff's a slideshow?
Such boundless pleasure
We've no time for later
Now you can't wait
You won't arrive
We've twenty seconds to comply
[Chorus]
So, let go, so let go
Jump in
Oh well, what you waiting for?
It's alright
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown
So, let go, yeah let go
Just get in
Oh, it's so amazing here
It's all right
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown
[background sounds]
[Chorus]
So, let go, so let go
Jump in
Oh well, what you waiting for?
It's alright
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown
So, let go, yeah let go
Just get in
Oh, it's so amazing here
It's all right
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown
In the breakdown
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown
The breakdown
So amazing here
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown
Drink up baby doll
Are you in or are you out?
Leave your things behind
'Cause it's all going off without you
Excuse me too busy you're writing your tragedy
These mess-ups
You bubble-wrap
When you've no idea what you're like
[Chorus]
So, let go,let go
Jump in
Oh well, what you waiting for?
It's all right
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown
So, let go, l-let go
Just get in
Oh, it's so amazing here
It's all right
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown
It gains the more it gives
And then it rises with the fall
So hand me that remote
Can't you see that all that stuff's a slideshow?
Such boundless pleasure
We've no time for later
Now you can't wait
You won't arrive
We've twenty seconds to comply
[Chorus]
So, let go, so let go
Jump in
Oh well, what you waiting for?
It's alright
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown
So, let go, yeah let go
Just get in
Oh, it's so amazing here
It's all right
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown
[background sounds]
[Chorus]
So, let go, so let go
Jump in
Oh well, what you waiting for?
It's alright
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown
So, let go, yeah let go
Just get in
Oh, it's so amazing here
It's all right
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown
In the breakdown
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown
The breakdown
So amazing here
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Miss Havisham
Like a black and white detective,
I’ve looked deep into your alibis
Truth always has its directive
the sources all agree
that in their eyes you told them lies
you never told to me.
Your sky gray eyes
Are such a gorgeous alibi
But they can’t lie
At least they cannot lie to me.
Though I tried and tried to
Get the blue into your eyes
Your sky grey eyes won’t ever, ever never lie to me.
I admit you had me buffaloed
And I know it was quite a show
You had the motive had the means
and the opportunity.
The only thing you never really
counted on was me.
Your sky gray eyes
Are such a gorgeous alibi
But they can’t lie
At least they cannot lie to me.
Though I tried and tried to
Get the blue into your eyes
Your sky gray eyes won’t ever, ever never lie to me.
She said "Break their hearts, my pride and hope,
break their hearts and have no mercy!"
I could have shown you love was great
Exept for the expectations.
Your sky gray eyes
Are such a gorgeous alibi
But they can’t lie
At least they cannot lie to me.
Though I tried and tried to
Get the blue into your eyes
Your sky gray eyes won’t ever, ever never lie to me.
I’ve looked deep into your alibis
Truth always has its directive
the sources all agree
that in their eyes you told them lies
you never told to me.
Your sky gray eyes
Are such a gorgeous alibi
But they can’t lie
At least they cannot lie to me.
Though I tried and tried to
Get the blue into your eyes
Your sky grey eyes won’t ever, ever never lie to me.
I admit you had me buffaloed
And I know it was quite a show
You had the motive had the means
and the opportunity.
The only thing you never really
counted on was me.
Your sky gray eyes
Are such a gorgeous alibi
But they can’t lie
At least they cannot lie to me.
Though I tried and tried to
Get the blue into your eyes
Your sky gray eyes won’t ever, ever never lie to me.
She said "Break their hearts, my pride and hope,
break their hearts and have no mercy!"
I could have shown you love was great
Exept for the expectations.
Your sky gray eyes
Are such a gorgeous alibi
But they can’t lie
At least they cannot lie to me.
Though I tried and tried to
Get the blue into your eyes
Your sky gray eyes won’t ever, ever never lie to me.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Friday, October 24, 2008
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Lady Justice hide your eyes,
'caus I cannot disguise
the lies that cause the fear.
Tell me how can I rely
on the grace that's in your eyes,
when I'll just fill them up with tears?
Because I know you love me and it fills me up with fear
and I know I need you, but I just can't stand you near.
So chain me to you and don't you ever let me go.
The pain I put you through is the price for me to know,
that I love you , and I need you, and I want you to know.
'caus I cannot disguise
the lies that cause the fear.
Tell me how can I rely
on the grace that's in your eyes,
when I'll just fill them up with tears?
Because I know you love me and it fills me up with fear
and I know I need you, but I just can't stand you near.
So chain me to you and don't you ever let me go.
The pain I put you through is the price for me to know,
that I love you , and I need you, and I want you to know.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Monday, August 4, 2008
Psalm 69 (Actual)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z3LJN1CO0mI
1SAVE ME, O God, for the waters have come up to my neck [they threaten my life].
2I sink in deep mire, where there is no foothold; I have come into deep waters, where the floods overwhelm me.
3I am weary with my crying; my throat is parched; my eyes fail with waiting [hopefully] for my God.
4Those who hate me without cause are more than the hairs of my head; those who would cut me off and destroy me, being my enemies wrongfully, are many and mighty. I am [forced] to restore what I did not steal.(A)
5O God, You know my folly and blundering; my sins and my guilt are not hidden from You.
6Let not those who wait and hope and look for You, O Lord of hosts, be put to shame through me; let not those who seek and inquire for and require You [as their vital necessity] be brought to confusion and dishonor through me, O God of Israel.
7Because for Your sake I have borne taunt and reproach; confusion and shame have covered my face.
8I have become a stranger to my brethren, and an alien to my mother's children.(B)
9For zeal for Your house has eaten me up, and the reproaches and insults of those who reproach and insult You have fallen upon me.(C)
10When I wept and humbled myself with fasting, I was jeered at and humiliated;
11When I made sackcloth my clothing, I became a byword (an object of scorn) to them.
12They who sit in [the city's] gate talk about me, and I am the song of the drunkards.
13But as for me, my prayer is to You, O Lord. At an acceptable and opportune time, O God, in the multitude of Your mercy and the abundance of Your loving-kindness hear me, and in the truth and faithfulness of Your salvation answer me.
14Rescue me out of the mire, and let me not sink; let me be delivered from those who hate me and from out of the deep waters.
15Let not the floodwaters overflow and overwhelm me, neither let the deep swallow me up nor the [dug] pit [with water perhaps in the bottom] close its mouth over me.
16Hear and answer me, O Lord, for Your loving-kindness is sweet and comforting; according to Your plenteous tender mercy and steadfast love turn to me.
17Hide not Your face from Your servant, for I am in distress; O answer me speedily!
18Draw close to me and redeem me; ransom and set me free because of my enemies [lest they glory in my prolonged distress]!
19You know my reproach and my shame and my dishonor; my adversaries are all before You [fully known to You].
20Insults and reproach have broken my heart; I am full of heaviness and I am distressingly sick. I looked for pity, but there was none, and for comforters, but I found none.
21They gave me also gall [poisonous and bitter] for my food, and in my thirst they gave me vinegar (a soured wine) to drink.(D)
22Let their own table [with all its abundance and luxury] become a snare to them; and when they are secure in peace [or at their sacrificial feasts, let it become] a trap to them.
23Let their eyes be darkened so that they cannot see, and make their loins tremble continually [from terror, dismay, and feebleness].
24Pour out Your indignation upon them, and let the fierceness of Your burning anger catch up with them.
25Let their habitation and their encampment be a desolation; let no one dwell in their tents.(E)
26For they pursue and persecute him whom You have smitten, and they gossip about those whom You have wounded, [adding] to their grief and pain.
27Let one [unforgiven] perverseness and iniquity accumulate upon another for them [in Your book], and let them not come into Your righteousness or be justified and acquitted by You.
28Let them be blotted out of the book of the living and the book of life and not be enrolled among the [uncompromisingly] righteous (those upright and in right standing with God).(F)
29But I am poor, sorrowful, and in pain; let Your salvation, O God, set me up on high.
30I will praise the name of God with a song and will magnify Him with thanksgiving,
31And it will please the Lord better than an ox or a bullock that has horns and hoofs.
32The humble shall see it and be glad; you who seek God, inquiring for and requiring Him [as your first need], let your hearts revive and live!(G)
33For the Lord hears the poor and needy and despises not His prisoners (His miserable and wounded ones).
34Let heaven and earth praise Him, the seas and everything that moves in them.
35For God will save Zion and rebuild the cities of Judah; and [His servants] shall remain and dwell there and have it in their possession;
36The children of His servants shall inherit it, and those who love His name shall dwell in it.
1SAVE ME, O God, for the waters have come up to my neck [they threaten my life].
2I sink in deep mire, where there is no foothold; I have come into deep waters, where the floods overwhelm me.
3I am weary with my crying; my throat is parched; my eyes fail with waiting [hopefully] for my God.
4Those who hate me without cause are more than the hairs of my head; those who would cut me off and destroy me, being my enemies wrongfully, are many and mighty. I am [forced] to restore what I did not steal.(A)
5O God, You know my folly and blundering; my sins and my guilt are not hidden from You.
6Let not those who wait and hope and look for You, O Lord of hosts, be put to shame through me; let not those who seek and inquire for and require You [as their vital necessity] be brought to confusion and dishonor through me, O God of Israel.
7Because for Your sake I have borne taunt and reproach; confusion and shame have covered my face.
8I have become a stranger to my brethren, and an alien to my mother's children.(B)
9For zeal for Your house has eaten me up, and the reproaches and insults of those who reproach and insult You have fallen upon me.(C)
10When I wept and humbled myself with fasting, I was jeered at and humiliated;
11When I made sackcloth my clothing, I became a byword (an object of scorn) to them.
12They who sit in [the city's] gate talk about me, and I am the song of the drunkards.
13But as for me, my prayer is to You, O Lord. At an acceptable and opportune time, O God, in the multitude of Your mercy and the abundance of Your loving-kindness hear me, and in the truth and faithfulness of Your salvation answer me.
14Rescue me out of the mire, and let me not sink; let me be delivered from those who hate me and from out of the deep waters.
15Let not the floodwaters overflow and overwhelm me, neither let the deep swallow me up nor the [dug] pit [with water perhaps in the bottom] close its mouth over me.
16Hear and answer me, O Lord, for Your loving-kindness is sweet and comforting; according to Your plenteous tender mercy and steadfast love turn to me.
17Hide not Your face from Your servant, for I am in distress; O answer me speedily!
18Draw close to me and redeem me; ransom and set me free because of my enemies [lest they glory in my prolonged distress]!
19You know my reproach and my shame and my dishonor; my adversaries are all before You [fully known to You].
20Insults and reproach have broken my heart; I am full of heaviness and I am distressingly sick. I looked for pity, but there was none, and for comforters, but I found none.
21They gave me also gall [poisonous and bitter] for my food, and in my thirst they gave me vinegar (a soured wine) to drink.(D)
22Let their own table [with all its abundance and luxury] become a snare to them; and when they are secure in peace [or at their sacrificial feasts, let it become] a trap to them.
23Let their eyes be darkened so that they cannot see, and make their loins tremble continually [from terror, dismay, and feebleness].
24Pour out Your indignation upon them, and let the fierceness of Your burning anger catch up with them.
25Let their habitation and their encampment be a desolation; let no one dwell in their tents.(E)
26For they pursue and persecute him whom You have smitten, and they gossip about those whom You have wounded, [adding] to their grief and pain.
27Let one [unforgiven] perverseness and iniquity accumulate upon another for them [in Your book], and let them not come into Your righteousness or be justified and acquitted by You.
28Let them be blotted out of the book of the living and the book of life and not be enrolled among the [uncompromisingly] righteous (those upright and in right standing with God).(F)
29But I am poor, sorrowful, and in pain; let Your salvation, O God, set me up on high.
30I will praise the name of God with a song and will magnify Him with thanksgiving,
31And it will please the Lord better than an ox or a bullock that has horns and hoofs.
32The humble shall see it and be glad; you who seek God, inquiring for and requiring Him [as your first need], let your hearts revive and live!(G)
33For the Lord hears the poor and needy and despises not His prisoners (His miserable and wounded ones).
34Let heaven and earth praise Him, the seas and everything that moves in them.
35For God will save Zion and rebuild the cities of Judah; and [His servants] shall remain and dwell there and have it in their possession;
36The children of His servants shall inherit it, and those who love His name shall dwell in it.
Sunday, August 3, 2008
LETS FIX THIS!
girlfriends and giggles, sunshine and toes,
bare feet and roses, gentle wind blows.
A heart in love spans any length
but a broken spirit saps the strength.
God is good, Jesus best,
God provides, God directs.
PSALM 69(sort of)
Save me I'm Drowning!
I'm breathing water to try and pass out.
I'm tired of calling for help
I'm bored with crying
I praised God for what he gave
and was made out to be a fool.
Drunks look and say
"Ach, forget about love man, just get what you can."
as Christians we say
"God will guide you" "God is growing you with suffering"
"Just focus on Jesus" "Just trust Him and let it go"
People hold their breath when they ask how I am.
My eyes give me away as I lie and say "I'm okay"
We both know I'm not, but we can't change it, so we change the subject.
"What have you been doing?"
I HAVE BEEN BUSY SURVIVING!!!
I had a terrible headache and realised it was because
I literally wasn't BREATHING ENOUGH!!!
My OWN BODY dosen't even CARE enough that it is ALIVE to provide itself with OXYGEN!
It is a daily fight to keep from giving up alltogether.
"Oh, just working. I've been Doing a lot of reading" Is the verbalised answer.
"Good deal, You should really just dig into Jesus."
NO $#!T EINSTIEN!!! WHERE ELSE COULD I POSSIBLY GO!!
I KNOW WHO GOD IS AND I KNOW TURNING ANYWHERE BUT TO HIM IS WORTHLESS!WHO DO THINK LET THIS HAPPEN!!
"Yeah definatly, That's always good." is what I say outloud.
I'm in the word constantly and I am in every study I can invite myself to attend. And Jesus shows up! He really does! He gives me strength. He says he knows the plans he has for me and that they are plans to give me hope and a future. BUT THE PAIN IS STILL THERE AND HE HASN'T TAKEN IT AWAY!
People treat me like I don't know anything about God. as if to say "we're glad you came but, maybe if you knew God like I do, God would make your life better."
If I were okay and you were in my situation you'd want to know God the way I do.
I know that I'm an american and my life is great in comparison to anywhere else in the world. I am spoiled rotten, I am blessed for no reason. I have a great family who loves me and a roof over my head and food to eat every day. But it is rediculous to look at a person who has had his arm ripped out of it's socket and say, "Hey you ungreatfull wretch, just be thankfull you have legs and another arm with fingers on it. some people don't even have those." or "you know just give it time and it will heal" Meanwhile the bleeding armless guy is screaming "MY ARM IS RIPPED OFF! SOMBODY GET A @$!% NEEDLE AND THREAD AND LET'S FIX THIS!!"
bare feet and roses, gentle wind blows.
A heart in love spans any length
but a broken spirit saps the strength.
God is good, Jesus best,
God provides, God directs.
PSALM 69(sort of)
Save me I'm Drowning!
I'm breathing water to try and pass out.
I'm tired of calling for help
I'm bored with crying
I praised God for what he gave
and was made out to be a fool.
Drunks look and say
"Ach, forget about love man, just get what you can."
as Christians we say
"God will guide you" "God is growing you with suffering"
"Just focus on Jesus" "Just trust Him and let it go"
People hold their breath when they ask how I am.
My eyes give me away as I lie and say "I'm okay"
We both know I'm not, but we can't change it, so we change the subject.
"What have you been doing?"
I HAVE BEEN BUSY SURVIVING!!!
I had a terrible headache and realised it was because
I literally wasn't BREATHING ENOUGH!!!
My OWN BODY dosen't even CARE enough that it is ALIVE to provide itself with OXYGEN!
It is a daily fight to keep from giving up alltogether.
"Oh, just working. I've been Doing a lot of reading" Is the verbalised answer.
"Good deal, You should really just dig into Jesus."
NO $#!T EINSTIEN!!! WHERE ELSE COULD I POSSIBLY GO!!
I KNOW WHO GOD IS AND I KNOW TURNING ANYWHERE BUT TO HIM IS WORTHLESS!WHO DO THINK LET THIS HAPPEN!!
"Yeah definatly, That's always good." is what I say outloud.
I'm in the word constantly and I am in every study I can invite myself to attend. And Jesus shows up! He really does! He gives me strength. He says he knows the plans he has for me and that they are plans to give me hope and a future. BUT THE PAIN IS STILL THERE AND HE HASN'T TAKEN IT AWAY!
People treat me like I don't know anything about God. as if to say "we're glad you came but, maybe if you knew God like I do, God would make your life better."
If I were okay and you were in my situation you'd want to know God the way I do.
I know that I'm an american and my life is great in comparison to anywhere else in the world. I am spoiled rotten, I am blessed for no reason. I have a great family who loves me and a roof over my head and food to eat every day. But it is rediculous to look at a person who has had his arm ripped out of it's socket and say, "Hey you ungreatfull wretch, just be thankfull you have legs and another arm with fingers on it. some people don't even have those." or "you know just give it time and it will heal" Meanwhile the bleeding armless guy is screaming "MY ARM IS RIPPED OFF! SOMBODY GET A @$!% NEEDLE AND THREAD AND LET'S FIX THIS!!"
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Im really feeling this song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rYK_Bemj29s
Oh p.s. no actual turtles were harmed in the previous post.
Oh p.s. no actual turtles were harmed in the previous post.
Friday, July 11, 2008
Finally at work where I can rest.
Wow, busy day today.
I woke up around 1pm today. I had to meet my "consultant" at 2:30. Joe is a friend form church who has been at the business for about 30 years and is running a publishing company. I meet Joe and we drive to the bank and I get some money, then we meet at City Hall. I get the application for a business licence, filled it out. "Okay, I need you to get signatures from this department and this department." says the lady pointing to two X's on the form. "And while you do that, I'll get the approval taken care of." "Okay, but I'm fast" I say over my shoulder. Joe is on the phone with somebody, he'll be fine and I've gotta come back here anyway. So I take off.
One department is downstairs one is 3blocks away. Down the stairs around the corner I go. Okay, fill this out, sign here, here and here. I get the signature, I run 3 blocks down. "Hi I need a signature" She takes the paper and signs it. What no more paperwork? "Nope, you're set... Oh, and bring a business card by when you get some. We've got lots of that kind of work around here." "I Definitely will." I say with a smile as I back out the door. I Run Back to City Hall. "Here it Is. Do I win?" "Ha ha, you are fast, I'm almost done." Joe is nowhere to be found so I call him and tell him I'll meet him where we parked. He shows up a bit later, and we head to tire'rama to place a bid. The manager is there, and says he wants it done late July. Joe looks at the job and says we can do it for 200$ Joe thinks he's the assistant manager because he knows the manager who is apparently at lunch. The gentleman takes my information and we shake hands and leave. Sometimes you can have all the potential in the world but you just need to know where to start.
We drive back to the church to practice. The pastor is there but we'll practice outside anyway. I'll get plenty of inside practice later. Joe says I'm getting much better than the first time we practiced. I believe him. I practiced for 2 days strait while I was up in Libby. My mom was more than happy to let me practice on our house.
I'm not going to make bids until I have some business cards and a filing system so I drive to the store for some office supplies. I get them and head for home. Now all I need is a logo. I'll get one made tonight.
At 7:00 I went to the ball park with a friend and we hit baseballs. I hit 1 over the fence and 6 hit the fence. And between the two five gallon buckets of baseballs only a few got past me. I felt pretty good about it considering that I haven't played baseball since second grade. And then... It was my turn to pitch. WOW I REALLY AM NOT GOOD AT THROWING A BASEBALL. I had virtually no control over where the ball was going. I was never taught how to throw a baseball. I know how to pass, I know how to shoot, I was taught how to swing a bat, but nobody ever taught me how to throw. My friend was very patient and encouraging, but I knew the truth. So he taught me the basics and I threw 5 strikes in a row. It was really cool. But I'll need to practice more If I want to really learn how to throw. Oh and I got a really cool blister on my hand from the bat. I ripped of a callous. It was really manly; Dirt, sweat, blisters and leather gloves... Oh Yeah.
I filed my business licence, took a shower and went to work.
So here I am at the hotel, and I think It's time to design a logo. Hopefully the business will make enough money that I can quit the night shift and eventually just be self employed. We'll see. maybe God will bless this.
I woke up around 1pm today. I had to meet my "consultant" at 2:30. Joe is a friend form church who has been at the business for about 30 years and is running a publishing company. I meet Joe and we drive to the bank and I get some money, then we meet at City Hall. I get the application for a business licence, filled it out. "Okay, I need you to get signatures from this department and this department." says the lady pointing to two X's on the form. "And while you do that, I'll get the approval taken care of." "Okay, but I'm fast" I say over my shoulder. Joe is on the phone with somebody, he'll be fine and I've gotta come back here anyway. So I take off.
One department is downstairs one is 3blocks away. Down the stairs around the corner I go. Okay, fill this out, sign here, here and here. I get the signature, I run 3 blocks down. "Hi I need a signature" She takes the paper and signs it. What no more paperwork? "Nope, you're set... Oh, and bring a business card by when you get some. We've got lots of that kind of work around here." "I Definitely will." I say with a smile as I back out the door. I Run Back to City Hall. "Here it Is. Do I win?" "Ha ha, you are fast, I'm almost done." Joe is nowhere to be found so I call him and tell him I'll meet him where we parked. He shows up a bit later, and we head to tire'rama to place a bid. The manager is there, and says he wants it done late July. Joe looks at the job and says we can do it for 200$ Joe thinks he's the assistant manager because he knows the manager who is apparently at lunch. The gentleman takes my information and we shake hands and leave. Sometimes you can have all the potential in the world but you just need to know where to start.
We drive back to the church to practice. The pastor is there but we'll practice outside anyway. I'll get plenty of inside practice later. Joe says I'm getting much better than the first time we practiced. I believe him. I practiced for 2 days strait while I was up in Libby. My mom was more than happy to let me practice on our house.
I'm not going to make bids until I have some business cards and a filing system so I drive to the store for some office supplies. I get them and head for home. Now all I need is a logo. I'll get one made tonight.
At 7:00 I went to the ball park with a friend and we hit baseballs. I hit 1 over the fence and 6 hit the fence. And between the two five gallon buckets of baseballs only a few got past me. I felt pretty good about it considering that I haven't played baseball since second grade. And then... It was my turn to pitch. WOW I REALLY AM NOT GOOD AT THROWING A BASEBALL. I had virtually no control over where the ball was going. I was never taught how to throw a baseball. I know how to pass, I know how to shoot, I was taught how to swing a bat, but nobody ever taught me how to throw. My friend was very patient and encouraging, but I knew the truth. So he taught me the basics and I threw 5 strikes in a row. It was really cool. But I'll need to practice more If I want to really learn how to throw. Oh and I got a really cool blister on my hand from the bat. I ripped of a callous. It was really manly; Dirt, sweat, blisters and leather gloves... Oh Yeah.
I filed my business licence, took a shower and went to work.
So here I am at the hotel, and I think It's time to design a logo. Hopefully the business will make enough money that I can quit the night shift and eventually just be self employed. We'll see. maybe God will bless this.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Finally a third Verse.
I've had this song for quite some time, but couldn't write the third verse untill just recently.
Here it is.
I named it "Moulin Rough"
Dim lights have clouded my mind with false hopes.
I've chased them blind to the end of my rope.
I've turned from the wellspring to drink the dry land,
believing the water won't taste as I planned.
Save me. Raise me.
Bring me along to the place I belong.
Raise me.
As I feast on the tears that flow from my face
I grow thirstier still, to be in the place I remember.
I remember the first time that You came to me.
My spirit set soar and grace set me free
from the folly fools follow that leads us astray.
Their voices are laughing, but still I will say:
Save me. Raise me.
Bring me along to the place I belong.
Raise me.
Lately it seems, any wich way I choose;
The more that I get the more I've got to loose.
So tear me and my idols apart at the seams,
and just like a disciplined child I scream:
Save me! Raise me!
Bring me along to the place I belong.
Raze me. Raze me.
Bring me along to the place I belong.
Raze me.
Here it is.
I named it "Moulin Rough"
Dim lights have clouded my mind with false hopes.
I've chased them blind to the end of my rope.
I've turned from the wellspring to drink the dry land,
believing the water won't taste as I planned.
Save me. Raise me.
Bring me along to the place I belong.
Raise me.
As I feast on the tears that flow from my face
I grow thirstier still, to be in the place I remember.
I remember the first time that You came to me.
My spirit set soar and grace set me free
from the folly fools follow that leads us astray.
Their voices are laughing, but still I will say:
Save me. Raise me.
Bring me along to the place I belong.
Raise me.
Lately it seems, any wich way I choose;
The more that I get the more I've got to loose.
So tear me and my idols apart at the seams,
and just like a disciplined child I scream:
Save me! Raise me!
Bring me along to the place I belong.
Raze me. Raze me.
Bring me along to the place I belong.
Raze me.
Friday, June 13, 2008
Things I hate about you. and Difficult questions
I'm finally wrong.
You're finally gone.
Finally I've seen the value of
cryin' a song,
doesn't last long,
when all of the words are so pathetic.
I'm sorry to hang onto you;
draggin' ya down like a rock full of lead.
And makin' it hard to let me go
So here's all the "say" that I should have "said"
I hate the way you cock your head to the side as you think of a reason to leave.
I hate the way you laugh and speak simultaneously while I'm tryin' to think.
But most of all, I hate the way that you won't do any of these around me.
To close to call, this race is all
tied up between givin' up and tryin' again.
All in all, you're on the ball if you said I'm "not a boy, not a man yet."
So, I'm givin' up and tryin' again.
What a suprise,
no compromise.
Then why can't you be friends?
Cut through the ties of lipstick and lies,
and all of the past fears of future.
I'm sorry to assume what's true.
based on the things that come out of your head.
But you make it hard to let you go
so here are the things I've always said.
I love the way you cock your head to the side as you're thinkin' of bein' with me.
I love the way you laugh and speak simultaneously while you're talkin' to me.
But most of all I love the way your breath races tryin' to keep with your heart beat.
To close to call this race is all tied up between givin' up and tryin' again.
All in all, you're on the ball if you said I'm "not a boy, not a man yet."
I'm not givin' up I'm tryin' again.
Difficult Questions
You wear your heart on the sleeve of a tanktop
once a t-shirt, now been torn
hidden deep, forgotten and never worn.
Can stitches save what's long been rent;
or wishing win back losings long been spent?
And what of hearts shattered then forged again to steel,
then softened and stolen without recourse for appeals?
Can men walk on water? Can blind men see day?
Do cripples dance freely from pains gone away?
Do dead bodies rise never stinking of death?
Can demons infesting be called from their rest,
and ,being scolded, sent elsewhere liberating souls left?
Not if all human wisdom were all in one place,
not if genius evolved and new wisdom replaced,
could any soul hope for even a second,
their soul for a second chance, have chance to be beckoned.
But Truth, when incarnate, dies freely for all,
and turns back the clock of freedoms first fall.
All pain and all sorrow from wounded hearts weeps,
and rests on our savior whose wounds are so deep,
that no sin or sorrow can fill in place
where my doing wrong was rewarded with grace.
Now God with willing heart to willing heart would bless,
and scream at the top of himself the answer to all these questions...
...is Yes!
You're finally gone.
Finally I've seen the value of
cryin' a song,
doesn't last long,
when all of the words are so pathetic.
I'm sorry to hang onto you;
draggin' ya down like a rock full of lead.
And makin' it hard to let me go
So here's all the "say" that I should have "said"
I hate the way you cock your head to the side as you think of a reason to leave.
I hate the way you laugh and speak simultaneously while I'm tryin' to think.
But most of all, I hate the way that you won't do any of these around me.
To close to call, this race is all
tied up between givin' up and tryin' again.
All in all, you're on the ball if you said I'm "not a boy, not a man yet."
So, I'm givin' up and tryin' again.
What a suprise,
no compromise.
Then why can't you be friends?
Cut through the ties of lipstick and lies,
and all of the past fears of future.
I'm sorry to assume what's true.
based on the things that come out of your head.
But you make it hard to let you go
so here are the things I've always said.
I love the way you cock your head to the side as you're thinkin' of bein' with me.
I love the way you laugh and speak simultaneously while you're talkin' to me.
But most of all I love the way your breath races tryin' to keep with your heart beat.
To close to call this race is all tied up between givin' up and tryin' again.
All in all, you're on the ball if you said I'm "not a boy, not a man yet."
I'm not givin' up I'm tryin' again.
Difficult Questions
You wear your heart on the sleeve of a tanktop
once a t-shirt, now been torn
hidden deep, forgotten and never worn.
Can stitches save what's long been rent;
or wishing win back losings long been spent?
And what of hearts shattered then forged again to steel,
then softened and stolen without recourse for appeals?
Can men walk on water? Can blind men see day?
Do cripples dance freely from pains gone away?
Do dead bodies rise never stinking of death?
Can demons infesting be called from their rest,
and ,being scolded, sent elsewhere liberating souls left?
Not if all human wisdom were all in one place,
not if genius evolved and new wisdom replaced,
could any soul hope for even a second,
their soul for a second chance, have chance to be beckoned.
But Truth, when incarnate, dies freely for all,
and turns back the clock of freedoms first fall.
All pain and all sorrow from wounded hearts weeps,
and rests on our savior whose wounds are so deep,
that no sin or sorrow can fill in place
where my doing wrong was rewarded with grace.
Now God with willing heart to willing heart would bless,
and scream at the top of himself the answer to all these questions...
...is Yes!
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Kickin but and takin' names... exept... without takin' the names
Wow, my schedule is so screwed up right now. It's definitely life on the edge. I woke up today(Saturday at 7pm I mean)
7pm:
Kelsey's* Graduation party upstairs and had a great time.
9:30pm:
I got a call to see if I could come in to work early, so I did.
7 am Sunday:
finish work and head to MAC for church
10am:
To Midtown church for the 10am service
12:45pm:
Back to MAC to grab my hat. When I finally went down for my Sunday nap at
1:30pm:
I was very tired. I vaguely remember getting a call on the phone, but I'm not sure if I talked to anyone or if I just thought I talked to someone. but my phone said Courtney called.
4:30pm:
I woke up and went to Bible study. Very good discussion.
7pm:
(*ring*)"Hey Dan, I'm barfing all over and can't go to work tonight, I know you probably are too tired, but..." Back to the house for bed, I go. Call Zack to ask him to cover for a while.
7:30:
Oh yea, call Courtney back.
7:--/11:05:
...zzzz(toss) ...zzzz(turn)...zzzzz(*ring*)ZZZZ!! (turn)...zzzzzzz (*pop*) Up 'n' at 'em!
11:20pm: Zack follows through with 20 min of overtime and here I am at work again.
WHEW! GOD IS GOOD! (I'm glad the ducks haven't attacked here, I live in a basement!)
Hang in there Nitner&Beckers!
7pm:
Kelsey's* Graduation party upstairs and had a great time.
9:30pm:
I got a call to see if I could come in to work early, so I did.
7 am Sunday:
finish work and head to MAC for church
10am:
To Midtown church for the 10am service
12:45pm:
Back to MAC to grab my hat. When I finally went down for my Sunday nap at
1:30pm:
I was very tired. I vaguely remember getting a call on the phone, but I'm not sure if I talked to anyone or if I just thought I talked to someone. but my phone said Courtney called.
4:30pm:
I woke up and went to Bible study. Very good discussion.
7pm:
(*ring*)"Hey Dan, I'm barfing all over and can't go to work tonight, I know you probably are too tired, but..." Back to the house for bed, I go. Call Zack to ask him to cover for a while.
7:30:
Oh yea, call Courtney back.
7:--/11:05:
...zzzz(toss) ...zzzz(turn)...zzzzz(*ring*)ZZZZ!! (turn)...zzzzzzz (*pop*) Up 'n' at 'em!
11:20pm: Zack follows through with 20 min of overtime and here I am at work again.
WHEW! GOD IS GOOD! (I'm glad the ducks haven't attacked here, I live in a basement!)
Hang in there Nitner&Beckers!
Saturday, June 7, 2008
YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!
I finally know why God had Aphrodite (name changed to protect the innocent) Dump me!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeeeeeesssssss!!!!!!!! Praise God!!!!!!!!!
Whew, excuse me... I'm just so excited that It finally makes scence. Okay so here I am listening to an online sermon, and the guy is talking about people putting up "Functional Saviors" for all kinds of things. I ,regretably, have placed every Girlfriend (notice the unintentional capital G) as a healer of my heart. My poetry is loaded with it. Jesus is the only one who is capable or responsible for that. I thought I already knew this, but obviosly I didn't. If you would have asked me, "Hey, Does the love of a woman heal the heart or does the Love of Jesus heal the heart?", well then I would have gotten the right answer. But if you said "Hey, If Jesus takes the person you love the most away from you, do you still love Him?" I'd have known the right answer, but had the wrong feeling. My actual answer was "God I hate you right now, but where else can I go?" AND HE STILL SHOWED ME LOVE AND STILL PURSUED ME! YEEEEEESSSS!
Now, all that said, "Aphrodite's" personal reasons may be completly different, but right now the only thing that matters is that Jesus has finally revealed to me the problem with me! And I'm pumped to address that lie that I've believed for so long. That "little" lie that says "You've been hurt by women and the only way God fixes that is with the love of the right woman." HAhahahah. WOW. It's so STUPID NOW!
Whew, excuse me... I'm just so excited that It finally makes scence. Okay so here I am listening to an online sermon, and the guy is talking about people putting up "Functional Saviors" for all kinds of things. I ,regretably, have placed every Girlfriend (notice the unintentional capital G) as a healer of my heart. My poetry is loaded with it. Jesus is the only one who is capable or responsible for that. I thought I already knew this, but obviosly I didn't. If you would have asked me, "Hey, Does the love of a woman heal the heart or does the Love of Jesus heal the heart?", well then I would have gotten the right answer. But if you said "Hey, If Jesus takes the person you love the most away from you, do you still love Him?" I'd have known the right answer, but had the wrong feeling. My actual answer was "God I hate you right now, but where else can I go?" AND HE STILL SHOWED ME LOVE AND STILL PURSUED ME! YEEEEEESSSS!
Now, all that said, "Aphrodite's" personal reasons may be completly different, but right now the only thing that matters is that Jesus has finally revealed to me the problem with me! And I'm pumped to address that lie that I've believed for so long. That "little" lie that says "You've been hurt by women and the only way God fixes that is with the love of the right woman." HAhahahah. WOW. It's so STUPID NOW!
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